Thanks to some good timing, a very questionable online purchase, and a 30 day fast, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Jeff Parry.

Jeff Parry is a common man who is, as we speak, on the beaches of Punta Cana ROCKING DENIM BIKINI BRIEFS.  Yes, you read that right.  Please see the pictures below.  I can only imagine how much Jeff had to drink the night he clicked that purchase button on whatever the fuck website he bought those on, but THANK YOU, JEFF.  Who knows how much will power and strength it took too stay away from the pizza and ranch dressing for 30 days to squeeze his buns into denim heaven, but THANK YOU, JEFF.  Jeff is down in the Dominican Republic drinking, dancing, singing, and owning that entire beach.  People are coming from all over to see the man in the denim DONG SARONG.

I’m sure you have all had some good times on vacation.  I’m sure you have all busted out those salmon khakis that you wouldn’t wear at home.  Or maybe that sun dress that was just a bit on the risky side to wear to the pool party.  Well people… This is what separates you from our guy Jeff Parry.

Congratulations Jeff on your incredible confidence (and a decent package).  Please keep making our country proud.



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